37 Comments
User's avatar
Shraddha Upadhyay's avatar

Reminds me of the letter 21 year-old Nehru wrote to his father about hair thinning, “You need not trouble to send me any kind of oil. I detest using too much oil and I do not think it does much good. Nothing in the world will make hair grow if there are no roots left. All that the lotions can do is to keep the hair clean and prepare the way for any future growth.” You’re in good company, I guess!

Expand full comment
Rohan Banerjee's avatar

Haha, classic! Thank you for sharing this.

Expand full comment
Tyagarajan S's avatar

Have you considered going full Bezos with your hair. This is my backup plan when my head hair thins enough in the future.

Expand full comment
Rohan Banerjee's avatar

Oh no, I don't have that kind of confidence.

Expand full comment
The Fanciful Senorita's avatar

Oh man!!! Yet another masterpiece from the masterful Mr. Banerjee!! Hilarious as always! I read a bit, think I’ve found a gold nugget, but then the next line is even better! Problem is I feel that for every line in your pieces!! So no quotes to put here to point to your hilarity…oh, just maybe the back n forth with Simran…can I say I love your wife? Like LOVE her!! In a strictly “huge fan of her humour” non creepy way, ok 😂 also why, why, WHY could you not write this piece before i wasted tens of hours and thousands of rupees at the trichologist last year??? Dont worry no bald patches here, but my bank account would definitely be richer without that pointless experience!

Expand full comment
Rohan Banerjee's avatar

Hahaha, thanks a lot for your ever-present encouragement, Reshma! Much, much appreciated.

Sorry to hear about the toll your bank account took. Elaborate in an issue, maybe? :D

Expand full comment
Arjun Rajagopalan's avatar

Welcome to the club, Rohan. I started balding in the mid 20's. Like you, I looked for help in our dermatology professor - an acerbic, ascetic, no BS person. He looked at me, and without an ounce of pity or compassion, said, "Son, grow old gracefully." I have tried and am now 74 years old. and completely devoid of hair on the top of my head. Last week, at our 57th year class reunion, when we were assembling for a group photo, one of my classmates told the photographer that he could use my head for bounce lighting. My advice to you, Rohan: Get a good hat - not to cover your baldness but as protection against our Indian sun. And, as Mary Schmich advises in her book, "Get sunscreen." Cheers.

Expand full comment
Rohan Banerjee's avatar

Sound advice, and thank you! My grandfather could carry off the bald look with the same dignity and grace as you do. :)

Expand full comment
Maanav's avatar

Hilarious piece, Rohan. I didn't enjoy how much of it I could identify with but I wish you well through this journey of grief. You still seem to be in that early stage...what's it called again...denial?

Expand full comment
Rohan Banerjee's avatar

Haha, yeah, I'm fighting it till my last functioning follicle.

Expand full comment
Not The Wife Material's avatar

super... and all the best. For Lemur/racoon/kroor singh... whatever it is you are transforming into. We will all still love you. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Expand full comment
Rohan Banerjee's avatar

If there was a choice, I wouldn't mind becoming Wolverine. Thank you, Savvy!

Expand full comment
Not The Wife Material's avatar

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Expand full comment
Nishad Sanzagiri's avatar

I couldn't stop running my hand through my thinning scalp while reading it. Loved how you encapsulated one of our biggest worries so well!

Expand full comment
Rohan Banerjee's avatar

Thanks, Nishad. Glad (but also a little sad) that it resonated with you. May we see better hair days in the future.

Expand full comment
Sonali Mujumdar's avatar

Your humour and writing is distinctly Wodehousian! 🤩

Expand full comment
Rohan Banerjee's avatar

That is music to my ears, Sonali. Thank you so much!

Expand full comment
Rohan Banerjee's avatar

That is music to my ears, Sonali. Thank you so much!

Expand full comment
Gargi's avatar

According to my mother, mustard oil is the cure for everything.

"Mom, my hair is falling out!" — "Put mustard oil."

#JustBihariThings 😭😂

Expand full comment
Rohan Banerjee's avatar

Haha, I like mustard oil in my jhaal-muri. I don't think I'm brave enough to put it on my head.

Expand full comment
Binu Sivan's avatar

Hilarious piece! Am sharing with some of my friends who decided to do a Yul Bryner and beat the expanding bald spot at its own game. And that image of SRK 🤣🤣🤣

Expand full comment
Rohan Banerjee's avatar

Thank you, Binu! Ah, bold move.

Expand full comment
E.O. Connors's avatar

"Undercooked sausage" Ha! I think I may have found your missing hairs on my chin...

Expand full comment
Rohan Banerjee's avatar

Hahaha, thanks, Eileen! Don't get me started on the hair growing out of my ears.

Expand full comment
Culturalreads's avatar

Amazing piece, thanks a lot for sharing in a vulnerable yet incredibly humorous way. And thanks for the shout-out!

Expand full comment
Rohan Banerjee's avatar

Cheers, Thomas! :)

Expand full comment
walking_roots's avatar

Chuckled through it all - what a fab start to the weekend! Inspired to consume the davaa my dermatologist has been sending me home with!

Expand full comment
Rohan Banerjee's avatar

Thanks, Pooja! As long as the davaa works...

Expand full comment
Vikrant Hatwalne's avatar

My condition was far worse. Had to move to graceful acceptance.. :)

Do read this, when you have a chance!

https://open.substack.com/pub/vikrants/p/no-country-for-bald-men?r=3vfu&utm_medium=ios

Expand full comment
Rohan Banerjee's avatar

Thanks a lot, Vikrant! Love the title - I'm reading No Country For Old Men right now, in fact. :)

Expand full comment
Buckwheat Blues's avatar

The eyebrows sending emissaries bit was the crowning jewel for me!

Expand full comment
Rohan Banerjee's avatar

Glad you liked that, thank you!

Expand full comment
Sarthak Dev's avatar

Firstly, clapped for "undercooked sausage." I will never be able to look at someone wearing tight orange clothing - the non-Netherlands shades - the same way again.

Also, I ran my hands through my hair a few times while reading this, which should tell you how well-written this is.

Expand full comment
Rohan Banerjee's avatar

Thanks, Sarthak! We're all in the same boat. (At least half of us, as per the data.)

Expand full comment