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Simran's avatar

All I do is give you great content and all you do is spread misinformation about me.

I bathe in the morning if I have to go out. if I'm not going out, there is no need to bathe until enough grime for the day has made its way onto me???

And I bathe everyday, hello?? You think you can just say anything or what??? I bathe everyday, if I remember to 🤷

You can't become a writer if you're just gonna spew lies.

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Rohan Banerjee's avatar

Let's circle back on this, offline.

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Anchita Ghatak's avatar

This is terrific!

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Sarthak Dev's avatar

Love it. I need "Bengal is the karmabhoomi of antacids" on a tshirt.

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Rohan Banerjee's avatar

Thanks, Sarthak! Great idea, lessgo.

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Mumbai || Paused's avatar

I think that boroline is good for any stomach disorder.

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Rohan Banerjee's avatar

Boroline is magic indeed. :)

But as an ointment for cuts, bruises, and burns (both literal and figurative).

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Mumbai || Paused's avatar

:)

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Abhishek Singh's avatar

I'm dead serious as I write this.

Rohan please compile all your Substack essays into a book and please publish it. I'll buy the first copy and will recommend it to all my friends.

These essays are so damn funny bhai😂

P.S. I expect a signed copy and bragging rights for pitching this idea to you even if n number of people have pitched it to you or if this is already in your plans.

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Simran's avatar

I made this and gave it to him for his birthday last year.

What do I get in return?? Public shaming. 🤷

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Abhishek Singh's avatar

What is this behaviour P̶o̶o̶j̶a̶ Rohan? 😢

Simran, I assure you, this time, you at least have one person waiting for that compilation.

Also, do you plan to write and share your POV as well? (excited for that too!)

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Rohan Banerjee's avatar

Good luck convincing her to write her own newsletter. I've been trying for years.

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Abhishek Singh's avatar

I tried convincing the wife of a friend to start a newsletter as she is great with words. All efforts in vain.

I agree this is tough 😂

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Maanav's avatar

Hilarious. Such a crisp, excellent piece. Too good.

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Rohan Banerjee's avatar

Thanks a lot, Maanav! Appreciate it.

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Not The Wife Material's avatar

I agree with Abhishek. The book please. Super as always.

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Rohan Banerjee's avatar

Very kind, thanks so much, Savvy!

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Nihil's avatar

Haha! Hilarious :D Love it!

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Rohan Banerjee's avatar

Thanks a lot, Sid!

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Tyagarajan S's avatar

Taking naps for meals and showering before you begin your productive day. I must have been a Bengali in my previous life.

I've been blessed (thanks to perhaps my forefathers' voracious appetites for any food) with a sturdy stomach. But I've seen people who treat it like a child, listening to its needs while mine is left to fend for itself. And yet, I test its limits. I have a masochistic relationship with extra spicy food. I suffer and enjoy my scalp sweating, nose leaking and my mouth feeling like I've swallowed some hot coals. Then I suffer the next morning as lava emerges from the other end. Maybe because of this callous treatment my black hole of dependence is getting more sensitive these days and I have the occasional suffering. Digene rocks.

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Rohan Banerjee's avatar

I know the feeling very well. Spicy food is often my undoing too.

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Doel's avatar

As a fellow Bengali, you had me nodding throughout! Loved it Rohan - just superb!

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Rohan Banerjee's avatar

Thanks a lot, Doel. Glad you enjoyed reading it. :D

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Ayush's avatar

Haha brilliant. Hilarious. I don't get acidity (touchwood) but as someone who can't even have breakfast without a bath, that's one Bengali trait I'm glad to have :D

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Rohan Banerjee's avatar

Thanks so much, Ayush! Ah, before breakfast is quite a strict rule. I'd struggle with that one.

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Aparichita's avatar

Hahahahaha, this is gold! For my family and hence me, it’s always been Aqua Ptychotis (I hope I’m spelling it right) or the trusted joaner arok. Sadly it’s becoming rare and hard to find these days in Kolkata. Yet CR Park stocks it in plenty

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Rohan Banerjee's avatar

Yes! Joaner arok was legendary. Thanks a lot, glad you enjoyed it. 😃

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Insert Keysmash Here's avatar

This is wonderfully hilarious.

And I agree, puchka >>> all the other variants out there (and I say this as a proud Mumbaikar)

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Rohan Banerjee's avatar

Thank you so much! And I knew this already, of course, but you have great taste.

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Binu Sivan's avatar

I am still thinking about a pink Bay of Bengal and laughing. Sharing it will all my Bengali friends.

And hellooooo!!! You don’t like rice and rosogulla!!! What! Just when I thought I was beginning to know you.

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Rohan Banerjee's avatar

Thanks a lot, Binu! Haha, happy to have surprised you. 😄

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Pracheta Bhattacharya's avatar

Surobhito antiseptic cream, boroline?

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Rohan Banerjee's avatar

Yes yes. I put it in but took it out. To be dealt with later in more detail.

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Anchita Ghatak's avatar

Good Bengali boy who doesn't like rice. E abar ki! Jak ge, dupure ghumoy ar Digene sob somoy mojut. Thik achhe.

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Rohan Banerjee's avatar

Haha, thanks, Anchita! Glad to have made the cut. 😄

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Shatarupa's avatar

I suggest you also add Gaviscon to your medical kit. Another wonderful pinkish liquid. A wonderful accompaniment to luchi kosha maangsho.

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