Wonderful essay. I love how you have played with different forms for different topics over the last year that I've been reading your newsletter, and maintained a signature style in all of them. The fingernails thing is such a great image to indicate the slowness of traffic! These things do not come easily - kudos for doing it week after week :)
Oh man, this means a lot, thanks so much, Amrita! As Guruji says, our dharma is to keep trying.
And yeah, one of the many delights of writing is to be able to think of a fun metaphor and then have it noticed by readers. I'm sure you've felt this too. :)
The fact of parents being elderly sneaks up on you, as does the real punch of this essay. After the first few paragraphs I was laughing a little in anticipation of the next funny descriptions, and for a while I got what I expected. But that final part really took me by surprise. This is such a lovely essay. It makes you slow down and reflect. Greatly enjoyed the change of tone at the end.
Thanks so much, Maanav! Tbh, I hadn't intended to go there when I first started writing this essay, but it was one of those occasions when somehow the piece ends up somewhere unexpected. Perhaps because these feelings had been simmering for so long.
Your feelings and writing about aging parents will resonate with many. It's the time of role-reversal and as companions/care-givers to parents, the relationship gets complex and complicated. And you have expressed it very sensitively.
Such a lovely post, full of humour and warmth. I am in a similar stage with my parents. They are as old as I remember my grandparents to be and that is difficult.
High praise, thanks a ton, Sarthak! Very little of the last third of this was planned - I stumbled upon the transition when writing the piece, it was luck.
It absolutely does not. There's so much to say about navigating this relationship, while living in different places.
The flip from humour to the setting of the premise evoked a knee jerk reaction..exactly how it felt to me the first time I noticed the wrinkles on my mother’s ‘young’ forehead on a video call a few years ago. Once that thought was set in, it only got cemented further. But more importantly, I haven’t been more aware of my time left and to be spent with them, irrespective of the place or the circumstances. It’s amazing how all of us don’t know this feeling and once it dawns on us, feel the same way about it.
Very sweet. I hate the heat. I could feel it in my face. Everything after that is a bit of a blur. You should stop writing so realistically. It’s detrimental to my finishing the story (joking of course) 😉
For someone who is quite moderate in his opinions, I have a visceral dislike for Dubai having never been there and having only heard about it. I keep getting pitched it as a travel destination occasionally and I keep refusing. Something fundamentally doesn't appeal to me about it. If possible, I never want to go there.
You know, I felt the same way and had a disdain for the place. But now, I feel more ambivalent. The scale of what human will and desire has wrought in that city is awe-inspiring. It's not beauty, exactly. But it is remarkable.
Yes, it's a manifestation of humanity's ability to conquer the physical space for sure. Probably have to get over myself someday and visit the damn place 😅
Writer Sam Harris once said that at some point in life you start noticing the fact that something you enjoy doing is closer to its end than to its beginning. In fact, some things you absolutely enjoy you might not even realise that you have done it for the last time. He said this as a call to action to pay attention. Wish you many more trips with your parents and family. I loved the segue into noticing your parents' mortality. The humor before that was great, which made the shift even more striking.
That's a lovely, and poignant, thought. Intentionality and being attentive is so important. Else, life will just pass us by. Writing this newsletter has taught me to be more aware of my surroundings, and the people in my life. I hope I can keep it that way. :)
Went to Dubai on a work trip and hated it. Would not go back if I can help it! But in the end, it’s never the place but the company that matters, and I guess parents enjoy our presence and efforts more than anything else :) Lovely essay and ending!
Absolutely. I'm sure our experience of the city would have been quite different if it was not a family trip. I don't feel as strongly about Dubai as you do and it has left me more confused if anything. Perhaps I will need to travel there again to discover what I think about the place. :)
Ah, thank you, Sanket! It is not easy to think or write about some of this, I know. But if you do get to writing about these things, I hope they help you.
'Family vacations acquire brushstrokes of a different hue.' There are a couple of lifetimes in this one line. Loved the varying moods in this essay. 💙
Thanks a lot, Alaknanda! The varying moods of the essay reflect the varying moods of our trip. :)
Lovely essay, Rohan. Thank you for making us laugh and tear up in one fab essay!
I can never forget this tweet which said: 'One of the most heartbreaking moments in life is when you realize that your mother is growing old.'
They were always middle-aged and then suddenly they are old :(
Thanks so much, Karthik!
Yes, it is silly to say or feel like this, but it does seem like a switch has suddenly been flicked.
Yes! That's why I remember that tweet so well - it happened in one instant with me too.
Wonderful essay. I love how you have played with different forms for different topics over the last year that I've been reading your newsletter, and maintained a signature style in all of them. The fingernails thing is such a great image to indicate the slowness of traffic! These things do not come easily - kudos for doing it week after week :)
Oh man, this means a lot, thanks so much, Amrita! As Guruji says, our dharma is to keep trying.
And yeah, one of the many delights of writing is to be able to think of a fun metaphor and then have it noticed by readers. I'm sure you've felt this too. :)
Indeed :) Is 'Guruji' who I think it is..
You know it!
The fact of parents being elderly sneaks up on you, as does the real punch of this essay. After the first few paragraphs I was laughing a little in anticipation of the next funny descriptions, and for a while I got what I expected. But that final part really took me by surprise. This is such a lovely essay. It makes you slow down and reflect. Greatly enjoyed the change of tone at the end.
Thanks so much, Maanav! Tbh, I hadn't intended to go there when I first started writing this essay, but it was one of those occasions when somehow the piece ends up somewhere unexpected. Perhaps because these feelings had been simmering for so long.
Your feelings and writing about aging parents will resonate with many. It's the time of role-reversal and as companions/care-givers to parents, the relationship gets complex and complicated. And you have expressed it very sensitively.
Thank you, Rekha. Really appreciate your kind comment.
You're right, there is an element of role-reversal and it does get complicated - particularly when the family is spread across different cities.
Such a lovely post, full of humour and warmth. I am in a similar stage with my parents. They are as old as I remember my grandparents to be and that is difficult.
Thanks so much, Binu. Yeah, it is inevitable and yet unsettling, isn't it.
Beautiful. The last section, and the transition into it, is gorgeously written.
There is so much truth to the complexity of seeing loved ones age. Never gets easier.
High praise, thanks a ton, Sarthak! Very little of the last third of this was planned - I stumbled upon the transition when writing the piece, it was luck.
It absolutely does not. There's so much to say about navigating this relationship, while living in different places.
This was hilarious and had some beautiful moments of insight layered inside. Wonderful!
Thanks a lot, Venkatesh!
The flip from humour to the setting of the premise evoked a knee jerk reaction..exactly how it felt to me the first time I noticed the wrinkles on my mother’s ‘young’ forehead on a video call a few years ago. Once that thought was set in, it only got cemented further. But more importantly, I haven’t been more aware of my time left and to be spent with them, irrespective of the place or the circumstances. It’s amazing how all of us don’t know this feeling and once it dawns on us, feel the same way about it.
Thank you for wording all of this out. :)
Thank you reading, Gargi. I'm glad this resonated with you. :)
Very sweet. I hate the heat. I could feel it in my face. Everything after that is a bit of a blur. You should stop writing so realistically. It’s detrimental to my finishing the story (joking of course) 😉
Haha, thank you! Appreciate it. :D
For someone who is quite moderate in his opinions, I have a visceral dislike for Dubai having never been there and having only heard about it. I keep getting pitched it as a travel destination occasionally and I keep refusing. Something fundamentally doesn't appeal to me about it. If possible, I never want to go there.
Loved reading this!
Thank you, Tyag!
You know, I felt the same way and had a disdain for the place. But now, I feel more ambivalent. The scale of what human will and desire has wrought in that city is awe-inspiring. It's not beauty, exactly. But it is remarkable.
Yes, it's a manifestation of humanity's ability to conquer the physical space for sure. Probably have to get over myself someday and visit the damn place 😅
Hillarious and engaging as always! Love how you manage to keep both intact:)
Thank you, Shubhashree! Really appreciate you taking the time to read and comment! :D
Writer Sam Harris once said that at some point in life you start noticing the fact that something you enjoy doing is closer to its end than to its beginning. In fact, some things you absolutely enjoy you might not even realise that you have done it for the last time. He said this as a call to action to pay attention. Wish you many more trips with your parents and family. I loved the segue into noticing your parents' mortality. The humor before that was great, which made the shift even more striking.
Thanks a lot, Satyajit!
That's a lovely, and poignant, thought. Intentionality and being attentive is so important. Else, life will just pass us by. Writing this newsletter has taught me to be more aware of my surroundings, and the people in my life. I hope I can keep it that way. :)
Such beautiful, sensitive hilarious writing. As someone with Zen men in my immediate family, I relate with the exasperation.
Thanks so much, Payoshni! So glad you liked it, and appreciate your kind words. :)
Haha, on behalf of the Zen men, I can only say that we mean well.
Went to Dubai on a work trip and hated it. Would not go back if I can help it! But in the end, it’s never the place but the company that matters, and I guess parents enjoy our presence and efforts more than anything else :) Lovely essay and ending!
Thanks so much, Ila!
Absolutely. I'm sure our experience of the city would have been quite different if it was not a family trip. I don't feel as strongly about Dubai as you do and it has left me more confused if anything. Perhaps I will need to travel there again to discover what I think about the place. :)
Great essay Rohan. And I was not prepared for the end. It made me think so many things. None of which I am prepared to write about yet.
Ah, thank you, Sanket! It is not easy to think or write about some of this, I know. But if you do get to writing about these things, I hope they help you.